Wish

I wish I can hold your hand and guard you forever in my life,.. I won't release it unless you want it,..

But,..

That's just a wish,..

Nevermore,..

Just Pain et all

I feel she has gotten far away from me,.. I don't know why but I think she try to keep the distance from me,..

I can't explain it with words,.. It's just too painful,..

I Just Want To Say It Out Loud In Front of You

If I walk would you run

If I stop would you come

If I say you're the one would you believe me

If I ask you to stay would you show me the way

Tell me what to say so you don't leave me...

Yeah, that is a little part of Asher Book song's lyric which represent to my feels right now. I think I can't endure it for a long time... I wanna you know that I love you, I hope you have the same feeling about me,.. I hope so,..

I love you,..


愛している。,...


Always,....

Powerless

This afternoon, I make an offer to edit your presentation slide about Food and Beverage thing that must be presented tomorrow. I do that just because you look tired and sleepy, I know that you won't make it this noon and you will be stay overnight just to understand that slide.

Finally, I finish editing it on 3 hours. Suddenly, my BB group notification is ringing, that's message from her. She said that she won't make the presentation tomorrow because of the Setono's "lurah" wants to meet her and the midwife on the same time. I feel so powerless when you ask for help to request for substitute on that public presentation. 

I know that you're not hoping for me to help you to do that thing, but I really really want to help you. I know that my "Weakness" will freeze me in front of those audience. I feel like a man who had paralyzed on his both feet, but still trying to run. Sometimes I feel mad at myself, why I can't eliminate those weakness just for a moment. Why? I feel so powerless,..

From that situation, I realized that I won't be your good guard or guide for your future,..

Little Thing That Makes me Unbelievable Happy

Today, I feel so happy just because I can sit next to you in IGD Ngrambe. Treat the patient together, see your smile, and grab your hand when you want to go down to look the Incinerator Machine. I want to freeze that time, so I can grab your hands to guard and guide you forever,..

Complicate

One night, I hear from you that you already broke with your bf, honestly, I feel very sad... 

I send you some bbm, but you didn't read it. So I directly go to your room to make sure that you will be okay. I knocking your door, and then you open that door with the weirdo face. You see me like you're seeing a ghost. Yeah, I do that spontaneus, it's like my physiological reflect. I gave you some question about your feeling on that night, but you still say :

"Aku gapapa kok mas, aku kan strong..."

Yeah, I know that you lie, your eyes didn't say that you're okay. You always act that you can make all that things cleared by yourself, but I know it's really hard. Sometimes you'll need the others to help you out from your problems. I hope you can share half of your problems to the person that you trust, and I hope it will be me,... 

The Broken Ones

I feel so broken when I know that you're already in a relationship again with the other person which is means that I've been late.. Kemana aja kamu selama ini bang???

Yeah, that was my mistake, I don't get my way straight to get that thing,....

I hope that you will find your own happiness when you walk with him....